He would tug at my heart, sometimes whisper softly in my ear or just allow me to feel his presence as I sat. No matter how, when or where; I knew it was the Lord. It wasn’t something I could easily explain away, this was real. I knew it was Him even when I acted as if nothing was going on I could still feel him pulling on me, He seemed so determined to get my attention. I kept hearing him say to me there is a place called purpose, destiny and He was calling me there. I thought (Destiny) where is destiny? How will I get there? Where will I start? Oh my God, the questions I had for the one who was calling me.
I may not have known the answers to all my questions but I understood there was a place in him just for me, a place he wanted me to get to.
I had no good reason not to go where it was He was trying to get me to but at that time I couldn’t, there was so many other things going on, so many other people speaking in my ear. I just couldn’t allow myself to focus just on what I thought God was saying. Though I knew it could be no body but Him; yet my own foolish thinking still wouldn’t let me be certain, not only that; I was distracted by fear of the unknown; always listening to other people and their opinions while also convincing myself that I couldn’t possibly be hear God. I found myself over and over again saying, “God is it really you calling me, little old me?” “God what on earth would you want me for?”
After all, I was so use to being rejected, cast aside, no one ever picked me, God are you sure? Why in the world would God as awesome as he was and is want any part of me and for Kingdom work at that, what was so special about me that He would create for me my own place in him, come on; I thought this has got to be a joke.
Purpose, destiny that created place, special made just for me, his chosen one. That place he assigned to me even before the foundations of the earth. He was speaking to my heart, sharing with me the specifics of destiny in terms of my very own life. Finally I began to open up and receive what I already knew in my heart was real.
The more I listened the more he began to share. He told me how much he loved me and how no matter what had happened in my life he had something great just for me, he began to speak to me about my pain and past hurts about those who had rejected me, those who had forsaken me and how he allowed that to be so, because it was all planned by him for my good. He told me how he was with me even back then and how he would never leave me, nor forsake me but would be with me always, how he wanted me and longed for me to give him my all, he just kept saying,” come on I have a prepared place for you.” At that moment I felt special, I felt loved and cared for.
Yet I knew to be with him I had to forget about all the things I thought I knew, and all the things that had been said to me, this was for real, a sure thing and I really wanted to be a part. I finally took heed, I wanted that special place and it all began with Him; the Creator, the one who was calling me, the one who had chose me.
I took the hand of the one who knew me, who knew my makeup, my personality, my heart and emotions, the one who knew the real me. He alone knew where my destiny was and what it would take to reach that place.
I began to focus on him and what he was really offering, my heart began to open up and receive without doubt that all this time he really was talking to me; after all he was a great big God of love who had no respect of person. He loved me enough that he would talk to even me. Hand in hand we began walking I started leaning more on him, acknowledging him in every situation as I took each step towards destiny, though still not understanding all that he has for me nor everywhere he is trying to take me, I trust Him to get me to that place. Daily I find myself seeking him now even more, striving each day to get closer and closer to Him and each and everything he has for me. I have to get there; I long to get to my special place in him.
It’s so awesome how God wants the best for us all that he would desire to have us in his space that he would design something so great for us, set it aside and make it ours, that special place.
Just like with any place we are going to, we have to prepare for it, I had some baggage I had to leave behind and some folk I had to let go, (some were family and so-called friends) This thing was new to me but He let me know it could no longer be business as usual, I had to make some serious changes. I found out that there were some things I just could not do anymore. It just wasn’t allowed, I had to change my mind, equip myself by putting on the whole armour of God, I had to live daily by His rule book (Holy Bible) My entire life had to change if I wanted to reach this place, It was no longer about me, but about the one who chose me.
I want to please Him now more than ever have before. He has truly become my all and all. After being put down, let down, taken advantage of and then to have someone who lifts you up, encourage you, and is always there for you; who in the world wouldn’t serve a God like this. He is awesome and since I’ve taken hold of his hand I am more determined than ever to be in the place he has for me, in fact as I write I’m yet searching and pressing day by day to get to my place in him because it’s a daily walk.
It’s not a place that I will reach over night, me and God are walking this thing out together and he is feeding me daily, ministering to my spirit, loving me unconditionally. I love him so much and can’t imagine him not being a part of my life. I believe there is a place in Him for every born again believer that he has especially for that individual, their special place.
It’s funny though because after being in Church for over 30 years going from one church service to the next, listening to one sermon after another, not to mention prayer line after prayer line I look back now and I always knew there was more. I knew it wasn’t just about going to Church yet there are people in Churches all over the world dancing, praising God, preaching, singing in the choir yet unfulfilled, having a place in the church but not in God.
Don’t get me wrong I believe we are suppose to be a part of a local assembly but it’s not about how much we go to Church, it’s about God, it’s about positioning ourselves to go where he has destined for each one of us. It’s not about pretense and position in the Church but it’s about being real with God and being in the right place in Him, that special place called destiny, purpose.
I’m so grateful to be a part of His Kingdom to be on the road to my destiny, my special place in Him. Every day is special and though some days are met with challenges, frustrations and all the other things we endure that makes up life it’s all good because I’m on the road with the one who holds the plan and the blueprint for my life and everything I face as I travel this road will turn out fine because he already knows the end of the video. My destiny is in his hands.
I don’t doubt now that my entire life he’s been saying, “follow me, for I know the plans I have for you, plans for well-being and not for trouble, too give you a future and a hope.”
Beloved, do you feel a tug at your heart, a soft whisper in your ear, or maybe just a sweet spirit in the room; it may just be the call; your call to that special place, your call to destiny.
Annie M. Jamison
February 13, 2010
